英语笑话之真正便宜的东西

after being away on business, tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
做完生意回来后,提姆觉得应该给妻子带点什么礼物回去。
“how about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. she showed him a $50.00 bottle.
“那些香水怎么卖啊?”他问卖化妆品的售货员。售货员给他展示了一支价值50美元的香水。
“that’s a bit much,”said tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
“看上去好像有点贵哦!”提姆说道。于是售货……

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英语笑话之 神经病医生

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry……

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英语笑话之Boss and I

My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases hi……

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英语笑话之But the teacher cried 可是老师哭了

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被宠坏的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱闹脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at th……

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英语笑话之Dream 梦想

The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of ……

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英语笑话之自己做好准备 Prepare Yourself

A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked(不及格,失败) all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop." Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."     校园爱幽笑话大全之校园里流传着这样的故事:一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着:“妈妈,我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。” 两天以后,他收到了回电:“爸爸已准备好。您自己做好准备吧!”……

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英语笑话之我是牙医

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full .
在饭店吃饭的时候,我申斥我4岁的儿子,因为他满嘴食物在说话。
"Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard. 
“喔、呢”,我听到的就是这些。 
"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying. 
“祖,”我责备道,“没人明白您在说什么。” 
"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly .“
他说他要一些西红柿酱,”我丈夫平静地……

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英语笑话之博士与小厮

A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr.Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant.Dr.Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble.One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcelon the desk and said,“ my mistress has sent you t……

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